I won't be at work today because...

I have been accused of taking the art of calling in "sick" to new heights. I am very proud of this and think that we need to do everything possible to promote this form of personal expression. In this time of email, PDA's, blackberrys and 12 hour work-days...we must make a stand and say, "NO! I will not be condemned to slave away my youth only to end up on anti-depressants when I am 50 because I failed to LIVE my life!". OK, maybe it really isn't as dramatic as all that...but I still think we work too much as a society need an unscheduled break every now and then.

This following is an excerpt from and article that appeared today on www.msn.com about calling in sick. I LOVE the 6th one...kudos to the woman who actually had the balls to say what we have all thought a thousand times! (How do I know it was a woman? Really, if you have to ask, you are obviously a man and know nothing of which you speak)


"I was abducted by aliens..."
When asked to share the most unusual excuses workers gave for missing work, hiring managers shared some of their favorite examples:

"I'm too drunk to drive to work."

"I accidentally flushed my keys down the toilet."

"I had to help deliver a baby on my way to work." (Employee was not in the medical profession.)

"I accidentally drove through the automatic garage door before it opened."

"My boyfriend's snake got loose and I'm afraid to leave the bedroom until he gets home."

"I'm too fat to get into my work pants."

"God didn't wake me." (Employee didn't believe in alarm clocks and thought a higher power would wake her when she was ready.)

"I cut my fingernails too short, they're bleeding and I have to go to the doctor."

"The ghosts in my house kept me up all night."

"I forgot I was getting married today."

"My cow bit me."

"My son accidentally fell asleep next to wet cement in our backyard. His foot fell in and we can't get it out."

"I was watching a guy fixing a septic pump, fell in the hole and hurt myself."

"I was walking my dog and slipped on a toad in my driveway and hurt my back."

"My house lock jammed, and I'm locked in."

The Big Black Reason Why

For those of you wondering why My Love and I have not yet decided to share what will inevitably be a genetic masterpiece with the world...here is your answer. This is the love of our lives. Just look at those big brown eyes...it is clear that Bosque does not desire to share the spot light with any two-legged puppies just yet.

Cheers!

Home Alone

My Loving Man is currently away on a business trip...and while I love living with him (most days) it is like Christmas when he leaves (at least for the first night...after that, not so much). As tonight is the afore-mentioned "first night" I have decided to make a list of fun things about staying alone:

1. All the animals in the house must refer to us in the tense of the "Royal We" while the boy is away and must pay rapt attention while We are holding Our court and talking endlessly to them due to the fact that there are no humans around to pay attention to Us. If at any point they seem not to be interested...off with their heads!
2. Eating all meals out of bowls is the only way to go. Popcorn, pasta, and cereal...those three along with toast (which is to be eaten only off paper towels) completes the four major food groups that are to be consumed while We are alone.
3. We get all the hot water to ourselves and therefore must take an hour-long bubble bath while drinking an ice-cold beer.
4. We will sleep in the middle of the King-size bed (well actually We still sleep in about the same spot because the dog and the cat have joined Us and take their half...but theoretically, We could sleep in the middle if We wanted to as we are the Queen of this domain).
5. We will only listen to classical or relaxing acoustic music (preferably set to nature sounds like birds or the ocean)...of course with the requisite Enya thrown in for good measure as well as any artist ever to perform at Lilith Fair.
6. Two words: granny. panties.

While this estrogen-fest is something to behold, alas it can only last for one night. By this time tomorrow it will be a sad and lonely place. We will have eaten all the carbs, drank Ourselves silly on herbal tea, be nearly asphyxiated from too many candles and have the skin of an avocado past its prime from staying in the bath too long...the yang will need to return to restore balance the yin.

Until then...cheers!

Can You See God?

Flower in the Crannied Wall
by Alfred, Lord Tennyson (1809-1892)

Flower in the crannied wall,
I pluck you out of the crannies,
I hold you here, root and all, in my hand,
Little flower – but if I could understand
What you are, root and all, and all in all,
I should know what God and man is.


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And a small bit of wisdom from the tag on the tea bag I pulled out of the box this morning (don’t you just love food with a message?!):

“If you can not see God in all, you can not see God at all.”

Profound.

Shannon and Chris in '06

Two of very coolest people I know in the world are getting married...this is their site: Shannon and Chris in '06

Who knew?

Who knew that all this time I could have been posting from work? In my shiny new job at the Central Texas version of the Trump Tower most of the fun websites are blocked by the angry tech-people....so naturally I assumed that my fabulous blog site was included. However, being as busy as a Baptist Woman's leaguer at a prostitution convention, I have had precious little time to write at home. BUT...it looks like the blog-drought has come to an end (likely occurring simultaneously with a slump in productivity at work)!! Woo hoo!

Let's see...what to say today? How about an introduction to my new favorite website? Well OK then, if you insist. Go to: www.stuffonmycat.com and enjoy the antics of like-minded people. Well at least their minds are like mine because I find this site absolutely HILARIOUS.

Have a beautiful day!!