Remember

Today CNN is showing online the real-time news broadcasts that aired five years ago when the U.S. was attacked. It is so bizarre to see the panic again -- the surprise and confusion about something we have now been living with the reality of for years. I was watching just now when the realization hit that the flight that crashed in Pennsylvania was also part of the attack. The disbelief expressed is staggering to hear again.

I did not see any coverage of 9/11 until late in the evening that day. We moved from Dallas to Waco five years ago today and had to listen to it all on the radio until we unpacked the TV at the back of the trailer. It was surreal to be driving, all my family, pets and belongings in separate cars, on my way to start a new life in different city. It was supposed to be a happy day. But as the news continued to break I realized it was going to be far from that. I remember stopping at a gas station half way between Dallas and Waco and just looking at everyone differently than I would have on any other day. While I am sure the shock and disbelief we felt was nothing like what was felt in New York, D.C. and Pennsylvania, it was none the less palpable. Somehow, we were all suddenly connected in a way that we neither chose not wanted, but that was very, very, real. I remember thinking, as I am sure everyone did, is this it? Is this all? Will it continue tomorrow? We couldn’t close on our house that day because the Fed Ex plane carrying all our papers had been grounded. This meant we should not technically have been allowed to be in the house, but our realtor handed over the keys anyway – one of the advantages to living in a small town I guess. I remember being worried about being so close to Crawford, wondering if that would become a target as well.

Today I keep watching the footage of the crashes thinking, somewhere in my irrational mind, that at least once the other plane won’t hit or the towers won’t actually fall. Even though I have seen the clips over and over again I still feel like I’ve been punched in the chest when I see the buildings go down. I can not fathom how those who lost their loved ones that day feel when they see the videos. I can not imagine looking and looking and hoping against hope for someone to come home, only to realize they are gone for ever – taken in an instant by someone’s hate for this country.

Remember the surge of patriotism that came after the attacks? How everyone came together and swore to put aside differences for the love of our country? The pictures and stories of heroism we heard that made us all look at our firemen and police officers in a different light? The WWII, Korean and Vietnam vets who wanted to re-up and go find who ever did this to the country that had fought so valiantly for? We all flew the flag and did what we could to help each other. We all grieved for our people and for those lost. For a few months we were all just AMERICANS and our most important conversations were with God. We had signs and bumper stickers that said we’d never forget, but five years later we have done just that. The stickers are faded and peeling, church attendance is back down and we are once again segregating ourselves by race, religion and socioeconomic status.

In the last five years we have seen our share of disasters around the world and on our own soil. The tsunami in Sri Lanka, the on-going genocide in Darfur, atrocities in Iraq, hurricane Katrina, the earthquake in India, the bombing of Lebanon…and the list goes on and on. Through every tragedy, we see something of the character of humans that we don’t see on a daily basis -- the willingness to help, the compassion for others, and the view that we are all one and connected by something bigger then ourselves. Why does it take tragedy to remind of these essential truths?

Looking back, you may see things differently then you did that day because of the events that have taken place since. But just stop and think and try to remember, even if just for today, what it was really like to be watching the events unfold on 9/11/01. Maybe, in the midst of remembering a horrific event, you can also remember the good that resulted from it – the conversations with forgotten friends, taking the time to hug and kiss your children, the sense of pride you felt when you saw the flag in front of businesses & houses, the money you realized you didn’t really need that could go to help someone else, the faith you felt in our country to ultimately do the right thing, the tears that came to your eyes when you heard the national anthem sung at the first football game of the year -- the realization that life is temporary and too short not to be living a life of love, grace & joy and sharing everything you can with those around you.